The Village

I took some video while walking the main roads in Virudhunagar. If you would like to see where I have been staying for the last 4 weeks, you can see some of the village in this video.

Last Stop - Pazhaya Courtallam Falls

Our last stop on the family vacation is the "famous falls" called Pazhaya Courtallam Falls.

These are water falls that Indians visit to take a public bath and get benefits from the fresh and clean water. The family did not understand why I did not want to bathe in the falls... The water was cold and shampooing in front of hundreds of people seemed a little odd to me, but everyone else enjoyed it.

There is a men's side for bathing and women's side for bathing in the falls. A fence separates the two sides. The women bathe fully clothed.

I like this sign telling us how to get to the falls, because neither arrow correctly pointed the way.

Antone, Sweety, Me and John.

There was plenty of monkey fun at the falls.

Uvari - Family stop day 2

After visiting with family we head to Uvari to visit some more churches.

Uvari is a sea-side fishing village that was badly damaged in 2004 by the tsunami.

Me with Antone on the sea wall.

This is a "famous church" in the shape of an airplane and boat. It is the Uvari Kappal Matha Church (our lady of health).

Family Weekend Visit continues

After spending the day with Felix and his family we head to the next small village to meet another aunt and more cousins.

A cousin shows us the newest member of the family, a kitten named Apoo.

Sweety and a family friend.

Mary's sister is an English teacher at the local grade school.

Visiting Tirunelveli

Our first big city stop is in Tirunelveli. We meet up with their cousin Felix and his mom and dad. Felix takes me, Sweety and Antone out on the town.

Our first stop is the new church built in town.

Then off to the mall for some shopping. I bought my niece a traditional Indian outfit here.

Then on to a "famous bakery" for ice cream and pizza.

Finally we did some shopping in the markets. I spotted oranges and had to get some. It has been a long time without fresh fruits (pretty much just bananas for me). The oranges proudly displayed the USA sticker on them - Velencia!

More browsing in the market...

Tirunelvi is a much larger city than where I am staying so we took advantage of all the food and shops.

Family Vacation

So just like an American family, the Vijaya’s decided to take a family road trip so I can meet more of their relatives and see the local sites. Their son took a bus in from Chennai so we could all be together.

They rented a van (and driver – no one drives in India) and the whole family, including Rinky the dog, piled in the van for a lot of driving and weekend of family fun. There were 6 of us in the van plus the dog for the first day. The second day we were joined by their cousin Felix and his friend John – bringing us to 8 with one dog.

No Talking, Please

As I form closer relationships with some of the women in the community I am learning more and more about how relationships between males and females are structured. It seems that the two sexes really don't mix. Males don't talk to females and vice versus. I have learned this is pretty much the case outside of big cities, in the rural towns and areas of India. In bigger cities like Chennai and Mumbai, "no one cares".

Here is the structure as I currently understand it (but I'm still gathering more info).

At a certain age (9 or 10) girls and boys must stop interacting - no talking, no looking, nothing. They go to separate schools. Girls can talk with their fathers and brothers - that's it, no other males like uncles, cousins, friends, etc. In the case of co-ed education - which some colleges are - females may not speak with the male students and vice versus. In the class you may speak with the teacher (male or female) but not other students of the opposite sex. If you want to have a discussion in class, you only discuss with the teacher. If you disagree with an opposite sex class member, too bad, no talking.

So I thought, "ah.. when you marry...then you can talk to the opposite sex"... NO! When you marry you are only supposed to speak with your husband, no other men. For the men it's the same, no other women.

So this raised a LOT of questions for me. Like, what about work? You are allowed to speak with anyone you have work relations with. What about shopping in the markets? You can speak with anyone in the market you are doing business with. What about when people come over to your house? No, only business relations of the opposite sex are you allowed to speak with.

This obviously needs a lot more discussion for me to fully understand. I asked for the "reason" behind all this separation and was told, "because if men and women are friends, they will fall in love". I of course thought of work place romances, but did not want to bring that into the mix.

How do the women feel about this possibly changing in the future? Most of them seem to think it will change - that men and women will be able to talk - and they are OK with it changing. Right now, they just accept it.

What about me? I talk with anyone and everyone. "I'm unique, different, it's OK for me to speak with anyone." Which is good because I have been of course.

I cannot imagine being separated from half of the world's population. Think about technology and how this makes this structure nearly impossible to uphold. Before I came to India I read an article how one village had banned females from using cell phones because the elders thought the women might be talking to men on their phones. I simply cannot imagine.

Where are you from?

As we go to different places in the village, I am always asked, "Where are you from?". This is usually the first question. It's not asked in a mean way, just in curiosity. It is almost always followed up with, "Why are you here?". Sometimes the third step will be to take my photo, or to ask to take a photo with me.

This man in the village owns a local "Lodge" or Inn. He wanted to show me his Inn and take some photos with me. He was very interested in my skin color and kept comparing his arm with my arm. Usually it's my hair that gets touched, but he wanted to look at my arms.

He was very friendly and invited us back. :)

Ice Cream You Scream

A couple times we have been driving through the other side of the village and noticed a new store. It looks clean and modern and there is clearly a picture of ice cream above the door. I mentioned to the family that I think there is an ice cream shop on the other side of town. They did not believe me at first, but Sweety was at the bank the other day and she spotted it as well.

With temperatures soaring today (feels like 100 in the shade) we decided it was a good day to check out this new shop.

As the family had us running errands throughout the village we made a stop at the ice cream store. Inside is the coolest, most powerful air conditioning I have ever felt in India. It was wonderful. I said I could bring my book and just hang out and read in there all day.

They have many flavors of ice cream including "American Special". I am not sure what flavor that is but it was vanilla ice cream with something mixed in it. I got Coffee Toffee and Vanilla Chip.

Sweety went 100% chocolate.

I will be back to this shop. It might be my new favorite (if they only served coffee!).

Spaghetti Dinner

With food being on my mind a lot lately, and Sweety wanting to try western recipes, I looked around in the village for something I could make. I was able to find most of the ingredients to make spaghetti for the family.

We had to make our own sauce, there is no spaghetti sauce here - I found tomato paste and added salt, pepper, sugar, tomatoes, garlic and onion. Then I found some vermicelli pasta. The store told me the "noodles" were only for desserts. They have never used the word pasta before. The store tried to talk me out of buying the pasta.

So after two and half hours and neighbors coming in and knowing that something was "different", we had spaghetti. They have never heard of such a thing.

The final verdict was, "it's too bland, needs chili-peppers". OK, it was a very mild sauce, but I had 3 plates of it!!! It needed a roll and salad which I have not been able to find in the village yet.

A Community Works

Monkey Fun

Kodaikanal is known for it's beautiful waterfalls and monkeys. These two rascals tried to steal a motorcycle! I like the one with the mohawk hair.

Vatakanal Falls.

Biking In Kodaikanal

For the weekend I traveled to Kodaikanal - just 4 hours north west of the village. The town is HIGH up in the mountains - in the clouds even - making it cool and green. There is a large lake in the center of the town. I stopped and rented a bike (50 cents!) which looks a lot like my beach cruiser back in San Diego - except the brakes didn't really work. But for 50 cents, it was lots of fun to go biking. I miss my bike!

Video Project

One of my projects for Unity Charitable Trust is to make a video documenting the work of the organization. So everywhere we go I try to capture some clips and take lots of photos.

I wanted to get some video and shots of just everyday life and some of the shops in the village. Here is a little photo tour.

Sweety caught me taking some video with my flip.

Each market stall sells something different. Here we have plastic next to the stainless steel kitchen items.

There is a bakery in the village. I have sampled a few of the items and they are pretty good.

Fresh fruits and veggies. I bought some bananas.

Seasoning and spices.

This woman saw me taking photos and wanted her picture taken. :)

Secret Shopper

Sweety has been holding out on me! Virudhunagar (I still cannot say the name of the village) has a Super Market! (gasp)!. OK, it' more like a convenience store in the US, but still! I cannot believe she just told me about it yesterday. I've already gone back today. :)

So... Sweety wanted to make this western style sandwich and we had to scour the entire market place (think farmer's market) to find ingredients. Finally she says, "I think we need to go to the Super Market". Whoa! She has been holding out on me. They have little baskets you carry around - potato chips! cookies!! soda, water! What more can a girl want? I loaded up and plan to return. One cultural difference I will point out is that the staff of the super market take naps in the aisles. So literally, you can't get to some items because two or three people are just laying on the floor in the store. It was startled at first. I saw a women lying on her back and thought maybe she needed help, "No, she's just resting" according to Sweety. After the third person on the floor, I got that. I used to take naps back in the library stacks when I was a teen, so same kinda thing I guess.

This sign in the store caught my attention. In aisle 4 we have...insect killers and ladies items!

Going off to College

Sweety's cousin arrived last night from another village with her parents. She is starting college here in Virudhunagar. She is attending an all women's Nursing College. As I am treated as part of the family, we all climbed into our taxi and went to deliver Jeevitha to school. 

Here is the family at the college.

Jeevitha has just finished high school. She will spend 4 years here at nursing college and then can work in a hospital. Her dream is to help the poor who are sick.

There was a nice ceremony to welcome the incoming class (50 in total). I met the principle. They served us tea and biscuits. I skipped the tea.

This is what the classrooms look like. I didn't see any technology in the college, but classes start later this week. Maybe I can go back and observe.

Jeevitha is staying in a dorm at another Women's College in the village. We moved her things into a simple room she'll have to share with 4 other women!! There were LOTS of tears shed by mother and daughter as we left her behind.

What Happened to my Clothes?

There is a man that hangs out in back of the house. His job is laundry service. I sent a couple of things to him to be cleaned and this is what I got back (after 5 days!).

At first I thought it was dirty water stains (the water here is yellow) but maybe it's burn marks from his iron??! I have no idea, but I think I will find a new way to get my clothes cleaned. :)

Women's Meeting

Great Idea for a Smartphone Ap

As I was having lunch today at the hotel, I was staring at my delicious looking lettuce and fresh vegetable salad on my plate wishing I could eat it. Because all fruits and vegetables are washed in water, people are telling me to stay away from fresh fruits and vegetables even if they look good. I have so far.

So I was sitting thinking wouldn't it be nice if I could scan my salad with my phone and get a reading on how risky it is to eat? If the app could somehow X-ray my salad for illness causing bacteria and micro organisms, it could then give me a rating.

Ratings could be...
RISKY: lots of bad stuff here, eat at your own risk!
Small Risk: there are some small levels of bacteria in the food that could make you sick. Be ware.
No Risk: Chow down, it's safe!

This would be a useful app to have when traveling, don't you think?

It's raining in Virudhunagar

It is actually raining in Virudhunagar. I am sitting with my back to my bedroom window letting the breeze and rain drops cool me down. Amazing! I want to go for a run in the rain. :)

Amusement Park means Water Park, Stupid!

So for the whole week Sweety and Thila have been talking about the amusement park and how we are all going. They showed me the website (which they remind me of in their defense later on) and we all talked about how fun it woul be.

I wasn't sure what to expect and had some doubts about hoards of people riding on old, rickety roller coasters and how I might fall to my death ("American Student Lost on un-safe Coaster in India" is the headline I imagined.) But I was wrong! First, the park was clean, pretty modern-looking and there was hardly anyone there. Second, it wasn't an amusement park it was a water park. Am I the only one that thinks amusement parks are primarily rides and water parks are all water rides and pools?

Anyway, we pay, walk in and all I see is water. "Now we change" the girls say. Whoa, I didn't know I was supposed to bring anything to swim in!! "YOU Fogot?? How could you forget?!" The girls ask. I didn't forget, I explain, they never told me!! They swear they told me and they reminded me, "We showed you the website..." OK, that's true, but I couldn't tell from the 2 seconds I glanced at the website...

So we have to buy something for me to swim in. The park sells Tshirts, good, and children's spandex pants?! Why they sell these, I have no idea, (in case skinny, stupid Americans need to wear something?) but I bought the largest pair of spandex they had, and they fit (pretty much).

Here I am in my lovely swimming costume (literally). I think this is the ugliest outfit anyone every swam in (like I need to draw attention to myself)!

All the other women swim in their regular clothes (including the scarf!). So I stuck out just a little.

I haven't been to a water park since I was in college. It was fun. We went down the slides in inner tubes and rode mats through waves and swam in the pool. We ended the day with more swimming lessons. Sweety is getting better. I had Thila practice with a kick board. It's hard to swim with all those clothes on and a scarf wrapping around your neck though.

Ok, should I mention the barfing? We went on one ride that was not water based - it was this ship that swung back and forth. One girl on Thila's right barfs all over and the girl on my left, seeing the barfing girl, barfed as well. We were surrounded!! All the women are yelling "STOP! STOP!" and I am hoping no one else barfs. Geesh! That has never happened to me before. They stop the ride quickly and hose down the ship. The young women that barfed seem OK, so we move on.

Adventures with Sweety and Thila

The girls wanted to go to an amusement park in Madurai on Saturday, so I got to go along for the ride. Instead of returning to the village with the girls Saturday night, I am staying two nights in Madurai to enjoy clean showers, a real bed and AC. (I know I am spoiled, but you have no idea how dirty and hot the village is, what the water is like and what the thing I sleep on is like...)

So we take 3 busses and 3 hours to go 45 KM to Madurai. We took a wrong bus which the girls blamed on me, "You wrote the wrong address" they said, Me?!?!. I wrote the address from the Internet of the hotel. Anyway, I pay for all of us to get off the bus system (How does anyone get around by bus?? It is soooo confusing to me! which is really too bad because I would go all over India if I could figure it out).

So here we are flying along in the tuk tuk. I am the crazy American, Thila is the chatty one and Sweety is, a shy sweetheart. I love this photo.

Next, on to the hotel. It's a western hotel and I see for the first time since leaving my other hotel, other westerners. The girls feel out of place at the hotel and I tell them no one can make them feel inferior, and just to act like they belong, because they do. I am not sure how that translated, or if they understood. There is a caste system in India which I don't understand. I am not sure how others know, who belongs where...

So we have a 'western' lunch, finally!! The girls don't use the silverware and I don't say anything, but it was fun to have chicken burgers and fries with them.

Now on to the amusement park. We are taking a tuk tuk to the park and the driver wants 250 Rupees. We try to negotiate and he refuses....until another tuk tuk pulls up. Now it gets interesting! The two drivers are spitting mad! They are yelling and the girls are yelling, I am standing there thinking, "I hope we get a good deal out of all this". We have such a fight going that the security guard from the hotel comes over. I think, "Now he is going to bring the peace." NO!! He starts arguing too! So he gets driver #2 down to 180 Rupees, this after 20 minutes of yelling and 6 people arguing (Ok I was just standing there). But gosh! Then we get into the tuk tuk and the driver is still mad and yelling!! He talked and yelled the whole way to the park. I kept asking, "why is he sooo mad??" Oh my!

Coffee or Tea?

Andrea asked about coffee, and I've been meaning to write about it, so here it is. :)

In India, of course everyone drinks tea. Tea with breakfast and tea in the afternoon and tea when guests come to visit. I don't know if all tea in India is like the tea in Tamil Nadu, but here it is served piping hot in a small stainless steel cup. The cup itself is so hot you must hold it where you drink or burn your fingers off. The tea tastes like some sort of chamomile tea made with hot syrupy milk. The tea is soooo unbelievably sugary sweet, I can barely get it down my throat.

After two days of tea I went to a market stall with Sweaty and found some NesCafe instant coffee packets. I brought them home to Mary who prepares the tea and asked her if I could have coffee in the morning instead of tea. Mary responds, "Coffee? with milk? and sugar?" I explain "no milk and no sugar". So the next morning she checks with me one more time because I am probably just off my rocker, "No milk? no sugar???!" She understands, but I think it's just physically hard for her to make me coffee like this. She has this perplexed look on her face. BUT the coffee was delicious (for instant).

Day two of coffee and she checks in one more time, "no milk, no sugar??" I told her how delicious the black coffee was and to keep it coming.

It seems I am the slowest coffee / tea drinker in India. The cups are small so you are supposed to chug it down in one or two drinks I guess. On Friday morning I had my coffee at the kitchen table and the cook, every time I set my cup down, would rush over to take it away. I kept shooing her away, wondering why she was trying to steal my precious coffee. Then I sip and put it down. This time Mary comes into the room to grab my cup. I snatch it away from her. "Still drinking?!" she asks.

Sweaty and Thila laugh at me now. "Why you drink so slow? Why you take such small sips?" I tell them I like to sip and enjoy my coffee, but the girls laugh and laugh. Then they start in on my eating. "Why you eat so slow? Why you take such small bites?"

Apparently my eating and drinking habits are really odd. :)

For 1 Rupee you can enjoy fine instant coffee in Tamil Nadu. :)

Swimming Lessons

Today Sweetie and her friend wanted me to go the swimming pool and give them swimming lessons. I wasn't sure what to expect in terms of a swimming pool, but it was actually pretty nice. We had the entire pool to ourselves. It was a little green looking but refreshing. For the first time since coming to the village I felt cool and comfortable.

There was a matter of what to wear to swim in though. I asked if I could wear my swimsuit and was told yes. Then I showed them my suit and the girls burst into tears and giggles, "You can't wear that!!!". It is a swimming suit, I told them. I compromised and wore my suit with a T shirt and yoga pants.

For the lessons, we practiced floating on our backs, doing the dog paddle and some basic kicks and arm movements. The girls pretty much sunk like stones but they were so determined and kept at it. We are going to have another lesson next week. :)

Children love the cameras

When I am meeting with the women I always have my digital camera and video recorder with me. The children playing in the streets come running to see what I am up to and love to see the photos. Here is a group that gathered inside Nandini's house yesterday.

Nandini

Nandini is a very special woman I met here in the village. I have already stopped by her house twice as she is just lovely to visit with. She is 65 years old but has the energy and spirit of a much younger woman. She has been married for almost 50 years and loves to talk about her family and show their photos.

 

Nandini works to make an Indian snack called vadagam. She slices small red onions, mixes them with spices and then roasts little pieces into a small chip.

In this photo, Nandini poses in a room that is full of onions and chips drying on a tarp.

Nandini also has a cell phone and she says shop owners will call her when they need an order of her vadagam. She has been using a cell phone for over two years. 

Vadai

Today I learned how to make an Indian snack called vadai. I spent the day with Vijaya, talking with her and she was happy to show me how to cook vadai. We had fun making this video.

No Ice Cream

There are several ice cream shops in the village and one thing all these shops have in common is that they don't have any ice cream. I have gone three times to one of the shops (the owner is a friend of a friend) and every time I ask him, "Ice Cream?" He just shakes his head, "No ice cream". I think it's a joke as now every time I walk by I am going to ask for ice cream and I can bet there won't be any.

This colorful sign sits outside the shop and shows mounds of ice cream.

The man in the shop always seems startled when I ask him for ice cream. 

Bus Etiquette

I had my first bus rides yesterday. Right away I noticed there is a code of how to behave. Men and women cannot sit together on the same seat row. Whoever gets their first, the row becomes designated as for males or females. Also, the women have their own rules. If all the seats are full and a woman gets on the buss who is elder to you, then you give up your seat to her. If a woman gets on the bus with a baby, and you are not an elder or don't have a baby, you give up your seat for her.

This is one of the 5 buses I rode yesterday. There are city buses and local buses.